This is my Son, he likes to get his way and when he doesn’t get his way this is usually the result. When I witness these tantrums I tend to hear the Rolling Stones singing “You can’t always get what you want!” Now my son is a toddler so this is acceptable and to be expected; but what happens when YOU or I don’t get what we want?
Sometimes I get resentful and jealous of others, then I compare myself to them and wallow in my own self-doubt. Other times I’ve gotten so upset at the fact that I haven’t got what I wanted, that my fall into the downward spiral of jealousy, envy, self doubt, and sadness is imminent. I’ve been know to dig a hole of sadness and depression so deep that I need a loved one to say, “HEY STOP DIGGING!” Now that I’m a little more aware of my behavior, I can actually recognize this pattern and start the climb out of my emotional hole. So here are my tips for dealing with emotions when YOU can’t get what YOU want.
- Accept the situation: This is by no means easy, but it’s necessary. Accepting the situation helps you to move past all the questions of what?, why me?, why not me?, if only, and should a, could a, would a.
- Evaluate: Ask yourself if what you want is actually good for you and if it is in line with your morals and values. If it’s not something that will make you a better person or the person you want to be than don’t pursue it.
- Timing: Ask yourself if now is the proper time to get what you want or if you can hold off a little bit until timing could be better.
- Make it a goal: If what you want is healthy for you and if the timing is good, then make it a goal. Make this goal a priority and make a list of reasonable steps to achieve it.
- Patience & Hope: This is probably the most annoying step because patience usually involves waiting and no one likes to wait, but patience with hope is entirely different. When you have patience with the hope for the achievement of your goal then you are able to see glimpses of your dream or goal actually happening. Try to visualize yourself achieving your goal and becoming the person you want to be as you work toward getting what you want with HOPE.