Last week my Parenting guilt meter was on high. I could see a strong correlation of yelling and loosing my cool with an increase of guilt. There’s some research psychology for ya!
I realized my tenacious toddler doesn’t respond well to me yelling at him and his poor behavior doesn’t stop when I lose my cool. Here in lays the challenge of parenthood. How do you save face and keep calm during some of the most frustrating times that raising another human brings?
Accept the guilt and frustration. Parenting is a marathon not a sprint; these feelings will probably come and go for the rest of our lives.
Dr Klangsburn, a working mom of three says, “It will be a constant lifelong battle, so just accept the guilt. It is simply part of being a mom.”
Do something just for you. What makes you happy? Buy yourself some flowers at the store or farmers market if that brings you joy. I recently purchased some air fresheners from Bath and Body Works; they make my home smell relaxing and inviting instead of dirty diapers and stale food. This makes me happy! Whatever you have to do to find a corner of happiness in the midst of the trials of parenthood you must do that. A happy mom makes for a happy child.
Acknowledge when you’re wrong. If you’re like me and sometimes lose your cool, then take a timeout for yourself and then repair the situation with your child. Maybe you yelled a little too loudly or said something you regret. Whatever it is, you can use it as a learning experience for yourself and your child. Saying you’re sorry is a great way to model appropriate behavior. When your child does something wrong you want them to apologize and recognize their bad behavior so we must show them how to do that.
These moments make me realize what matters in life.
I’ve always heard patience is a virtue and now I understand why. I’m feeling a little more calm and collected lately and also finding that I’m learning a ton about patience. It’s invaluable as a mother and I’m thankful for it’s presence when patience surfaces in me.
What are some moments you’ve had in life where you showed patience when you had none to give?