What does it take to make a relationship work?
If I knew that I would probably be the best therapist ever with a waiting list the size of California. What I do know about love and relationships and making them work is that you must be selfless and care for the other person’s needs more than your own. I know I know, you’re probably thinking “I’m always the one that has to be the bigger person.” I feel that way too sometimes. This is not a manifesto of perfection. If anything I’m preaching to the choir here. Love, relationships, marriage….it’s a worthy and challenging journey of becoming the right person. Real love is a choice and choosing to love someone shapes you like nothing else.
For our first weekend away without our son, my husband and I went to a marriage retreat. Sounds kind of dorky right? Well become a parent and you will soon find out how hard marriage is. I mean you don’t need a child to know that marriage and relationships are hard work. What we learned at this retreat was vital to our relationship, which now revolves around nap schedules, diaper changes, and bed time routines. After the initial butterflies fly away you are left with what’s real and that is when real love begins. So in light of this month of love, I thought I’d share some thoughts and excerpts from that valuable weekend away.
Thoughts on Marriage:
- No two marriages or relationships are the same so stop looking at other couples as a barometer of what is good.
- Don’t be more like someone else, be more like yourself in your relationship.
- There’s no such thing as the right partner, marriage is about becoming the right partner.
Thoughts on Selflessness:
- The arch enemy of any marriage or relationships is selfishness.
- Find a point of agreement not just disagreement. Respect each others differences.
- Have an open mind and heart to work together as a team.
- You need to have the ability to own and admit your mistakes.
Thoughts on Honor:
- Marriage and relationships are only healthy if the bond is held in honor.
- Watch what you say because you can never take words back.
- Your partner and family should receive more of your smiles and joy than anyone else.
Thoughts on Commitment:
- Commitment takes courage, belief, and mutuality.
- Both people in the relationship need to be of one mind.
- When making big decisions make them together.
- It is never too late to improve the quality of your relationship. There is no hopeless situation…our hope is the anchor of our soul.
I hope you all are encouraged, wherever you are in your relationships.